Remember this:

Should you ever despair of life so much that you want to die, you have the means at hand and yearn to end your life, you have written a suicide note to those you will leave behind and you are prepared to die…at that moment, stop.

Get a pair of scissors. Cut away at the note until you end up with a piece of paper in the shape of a key. Go to a door, any one will do. Push the paper key forward and turn your hand as if unlocking an imaginary lock.

 The lock is real. Open the door. There you will find it. The other Earth. The one that awaits to replace this one when it dies. That death is inevitable, but in the meantime the other Earth will belong to you.

Be warned: the other Earth is very different from this one.

Uncharted Oceans

i'm split.
straight down the middle.
evenly distributed to compartments reaching across the seas.i'm viciously pulled, lethargically pushed.gather what i can, what i need.

tossed into the ocean, once completely dry.

hydration penetrates my wounds.
on my own, in the vast underwater land.
no companions to keep me from drowning.
once my half becomes a whole, the process becomes just another Groundhog Day.

oh what i'd do for just a shadow.

Waterfalls and Fish Sticks

It's like a waterfall. minus the beauty.
or like love, wait, no, love is stupid.
i love my mom, but i don't love fish sticks.
is that good? are fish sticks lovable?
what if you were lost? are you lost?
have you had a loss?
i have. it was ugly.
ugly is such a harsh word.
why is it so common?
"that dog is ugly."
nothings ugly. but just not everything is..
lovable. like fish sticks.
or pillows. i love my pillow, but it's not something to be loved.
but it's not ugly.
somethings are ugly, however.
like emotions. or, bad divorces.
my uncle is divorced.
he's miserable.
i believe misery hates company.
if it loved company, then where would we be?
i wonder if fish sticks love company.
no, no they don't.
neither does water.
water is it's own.
"got some water?"
"sure."
see? it's everywhere.
so are emotions. some emotions are ugly.
and some are loved.
like pillows.
what if you were stranded?
then what would you do?
would you turn ugly?
ugly like, heartache? or ugly like, weeds?
ugly is mean. nevermind, nothings ugly.
except fish sticks.
wait, no more talk of fish sticks.
you know what else is over-talked about?
global warming.
global warming is like a bad song that's stuck in your head.
you can't get rid of it, but you can't not enjoy it.
enjoy your life, and water too.


i hate it.
just as i hate fish sticks.
bye

You think you know?

People think depression is about being sad. They think it’s just when you ‘feel down’. It’s not. It’s like a darkness that creeps over you and fills you. It drains all your emotions. It takes everything from you, and leaves you feeling hollow and numb. It’s not sadness, it’s not anger, it’s hopelessness. Imagine waking up and there being no colour. Walking outside and feeling no wind. Eating a meal and tasting nothing. Holding somone and feeling completely alone at the same time. When you’re depressed, it’s not a bad mood. It’s a numb, empty, hollowness that seems to never leave. It’s feeling alone in a room full of people. You feel like there’s no hope left.

A Nights Work

Jump out of the car, knowing it's later than you'd like to believe.
Walk drunkenly towards the door.
Stumble.
Compose.
Open door, quietly, slip in the smallest crack imaginable.
Sober up, compose yourself.
Shuffle through house. Paying attention to the squeaks.
Cringe at the thought of waking them up.
Compose youself.
Stride on.
Shuffle.
Open door. It squeaks. Cringe.
Look around, wide eyes.
Slip in the smallest crack imaginable.
Close door.
Stand, wait. Listen.
Breath.
Listen. Hear a shuffle.Reconsider flipping on the light.
Hear a door. Sober up, sober up, sober up.
Pray. Sadly.
Stand. Quietly use super-sound to determine where the shuffle is headed.
Other way.
Disaster averted.
Reflect on the mistakes made. Regret that last shot of Jack.
Feel it coming up. Push it back down esophagus.
Pull out dying phone.
Text driver of the car you got out of.
"I'm safe. Thanks for a great night :)"
Finally move.
Tear clothes off.
Smell them.
Cringe at the smell of sex and beer.
Make note to wash them before someone else does.
Put on the comforts of home; clean pajamas.
Pull back the covers.
Look at clock. 4:12 AM.
Close eyes momentarily to reflect.
Pass. Out. Unexpectedly.

Wake up.
9:26 AM.
Go to work. 

Most Words

most of what i speak is fictitious.
fictitious with just a drop of malicious.
malice is what i live.
it's what i have, all i have to give.
i give no more than what i have to,
oh but what i'd give for just a coo.
just one or just few?
if i could make up my mind, i'd tell you.
question of ages?
where to be, how to live, rather be in cages.
indecision takes over me,
why can't i just take it and be?!


be whomever it is that will demand success.
i wouldn't ask for anything less.
anything less than these few rhymes,
who cares anymore, we're just mimicking mimes!
e v e r y t h i n g we do isn't real.
EVERYTHING we do is for the kill.
fall of man is about us,
all over it's happening, no one will trust.



what is it that we want?
who is it that we taunt?
it's happening, it is, we are in lack.
we're reverting back.
back to what is was.
capitalism is weak, and it's not just because.


but who really cares?
no one. but no one dares
to say those words.
the words of apathy that cut like swords.
no one is concerned.
notevenme. oh what i have learned.
learned about now, about how.
BUT I HAVE SUCH DOU(BT).
doubt in you, in everyone, in everything.
i hate to admit, but it is the wishes of the king.




keep me quiet.
keep my mind on a diet.
feed me no good,
feed me what should
be, not what i need.
i need to know, I NEED TO KNOW.
just who has the rights to keep me so low.


it sure isn't you.
and i wish i sure knew.


but for tonight i'll sleep a peaceful sleep,
and upon my wake,
i'll whisper shyly...